Christmas Carol
by bibi 13ca
Summary: As the title suggests, this is a sin-off of a Christmas Carol written for the A2A exchange on LJ, It's long, but hopefully it will be worth it. Enjoy!


**N: This is a one-shot written for my friend Morgan (morvamp) for the Author2Author exchange hosted by BadBoysAreBest on LJ. I tried keeping it as cannon as possible, I hope you'll like it bb. Enjoy and please review!**

* * *

Stefan almost jumped out of the big, old fashioned chair in front of the fire place when he felt her presence in the room. He turned around and saw Elena standing in the doorway; she was hesitating, as if she was actually waiting for Stefan to invite her in.

"Hey," she mumbled softly. Her eyes dropped to the floor. Stefan guessed she must feel ashamed for the whole sire thing. Regardless, Stefan thought she'd taken the news pretty well…eventually. At first she'd refused to believe she had a sire bond with Damon, but he and Caroline had been there to support her, and she'd finally decided to stay away from her 'sire'. He was pleased with the progression she was making. Of course, the fact that Damon had pretty much told her to stay away from him, helped too. He hadn't thought his older brother would do it, but he had. He'd set her free.

"Hey there," he answered, but made no move towards her. He felt he should be waiting for her to come closer as soon as she felt comfortable. Even since she'd turned, Stefan had felt like walking on egg-shells around her; little did he know that she felt exactly the same. They both knew that a wrong word or gesture might break the fragile equilibrium between them. He took a moment to remember the day, not even that long ago, that he'd sent Elena on a trip with Damon to figure out her feelings for him. She had tried to tell him something when she'd got back from that trip, but he hadn't wanted her to tell him. Truth was that he had been afraid of what she could've said. He was still afraid of that. Elena was his girl: he'd met her first, and she'd chosen him. Stefan refused to believe that her feelings had changed; that she had changed that much. Yes, she might have been confused for a while, because Damon had taken advantage of his absence, but still, in the end she'd picked him over his brother.

Elena knew she had hurt Stefan, and no matter how hard she tried, it was hard to find the words to help him. Those words might not even exist. If she was being honest, she was still confused. A part of her knew that her sire bond to Damon had changed things, but a part of her still couldn't believe a sire bond was all that existed between them. She'd felt something for him before turning, and those feelings for the blue-eyed vampire hadn't disappeared just because they'd found out about the sire bond between them. When Damon had told her to let him go, she had, but her feelings were still there. No matter how many people had told her to keep away from Damon – including Damon himself – and no matter how many times she told herself to stay away from him, actually staying away from him was the hardest thing Elena remembered doing. She missed him so much that sometimes she could swear she was feeling physical pain from being away from him. Deep down, Elena knew that Damon must be beating himself up too. All she wanted most of the time was to ease his pain.

They didn't understand that the bond between Damon and her was not the same as between Klaus and his hybrids. No, Elena felt what Damon felt. When he was in pain, she was in pain. She had no clue how the sire thing worked, but telling her to be free and keep her distance from him didn't make anything better. The worst part was…she had no one to talk to about what went on inside of her. Bonnie had enough to deal with. Trying to get in touch with her magic again, learning from that professor and helping Jeremy. Caroline hated the idea of her and Damon together. She hated Damon and she didn't seem to like Elena all that much since she'd turned either. She wished her mother was there; she would know what to say. Or Jenna; Jenna had always been good at listening. But Elena knew better. She was alone in this mess.

When she finally pushed herself away from the wall, she realized her legs were not cooperating. It was hard to walk towards Stefan because she knew what she was about to tell him. 'But he will understand,' she calmed herself.

"Can we sit?" she asked, looking at the couch.

"Sure," Stefan took a few more steps and let himself fall on the couch. He expected Elena to do the same, but instead she took a seat in the chair that was placed in front of the couch. Then again, he expected Elena to do a lot of things she didn't do. It seemed he no longer knew her. Or maybe he never had.

"I feel like I should explain this to you, but," she took in a breath she didn't actually need before continuing, "the thing is, I don't understand it much myself. I know that I have feelings for him, Stefan. They were there even before I turned and this whole sire thing happened. The only thing that changed is that I no longer know how much of it is real and how much is not."

Stefan looked away because she looked so broken, and he knew that the reason for that was because she was away from his brother. It hurt.

Damon was already half way down the stairs when he heard Elena's voice asking Stefan if they could sit down. Her voice sounded off, broken, like she was sleep depraved and on a diet. He froze in place, because that was just the type of effect she had on him. When his brother answered and he picked up the sound of the couch creaking under their weight, Damon felt the need to sit down himself, so he took a seat right there on the stairs. In his head, he could see her; he could see his broken girl. Only, she wasn't really his girl, was she? Well, she was, technically, but she was forced into it. And out of all the people he'd turned, why did this have to happen to her? The one thing Damon was sure of was, that no matter what happened between them, good or bad, all of it had been real. He didn't want that to change and he hated the fact that he didn't have a choice. He knew…he knew better than anyone that when it wasn't a hundred per cent real, sooner rather than later reality would set in and the beautiful dream would vanish. It had happened to him with Katherine and he wasn't sure he could take that again. To believe she had chosen him, to believe she loved him , just to have all his dreams crushed by a stupid sire bond he hadn't asked for, was all just too fucked up to even think about it.

When Elena started talking, Damon prepared himself for the heartache that would come. He knew that the words coming out of her mouth might crush him, but he had to be there. He had to hear them in order to let go, to let _her_ go.

Elena was still speaking. "I feel something…and everyone keeps telling me that what I feel is not real. It's just so hard."

"I understand," Stefan said softly.

"I know that I still care about you, Stefan," she looked away from him as if she didn't want Stefan to see her reaction to the statement she'd just made. "But I don't think I can be with you. Not like this."

Damon pressed his teeth together, because he understood what her words meant. She considered herself broken. Of course, he didn't blame her. He knew how much Elena Gilbert had always wanted to make her own decisions. In this moment, she felt like she wasn't free, like every decision she was making was influenced by her sire bond to him. She was right to feel trapped and she was right to want to be free again.

"You deserve better and right now, I can't be with you because I cannot stop thinking about him, about hurting him. Just…I can't think straight."

Elena took a moment to remember the events from just a few days ago.

"_Damon, I don't care," she said, giggling._

"_What?" Damon asked, confused. He turned around to look at the clock on the bedside table. It was ten o'clock already and they were still in bed. _

"_I don't care anymore if there is a cure or not. I can do this with you, I know I can."_

"_Of course you can," he reached out to her, and Elena took advantage to rest her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her tiny frame. He still had trouble believing the woman in his arms was really Elena Gilbert. _

"_That way we can be together forever," she looked up at him with a big grin on her face. He didn't recall ever seeing her this happy. He adored that look on her._

"I will find the cure, Elena," Stefan said, determined, like he had just read her mind.

"I know you will."

"And when I do, you will be human and this sire bond to my brother will be over for good. You will be yourself again."

She just nodded, allowing her tears to flow freely. "I am sorry this happened," she murmured. Only, she wasn't sure her sire bond to the elder Salvatore was the only thing that had changed her. She had died, killed someone with her bare hands. She'd had to defend herself; she'd fed on people and compelled them. _She_ had changed. She didn't want to tell Stefan, but the reality was that even with a cure, even if she turned back to the land of the living, Elena Gilbert would never be the same again. Part of her even wanted to embrace that change. It made her darker, yes, but it also made her stronger, more aware of everything around her. Her relationship with the man standing in front of her had changed too. She realized that, ever since he'd reverted back from his ripper mode, she had had trouble trusting him. And up until now, he hadn't proved her wrong. Reality was cruel and hit her with full force. She would trust Damon in a heartbeat now, but the same rule no longer applied to Stefan.

"It's not your fault, Elena. It wasn't your choice," Stefan reached out to wipe the tears away from her cold cheeks and she let him. "We'll get through this, we'll be fine," he went on and Elena nodded again. "I love you, Elena."

Damon held his breath waiting for Elena's response.

"I love you too," she whispered.

That was the moment Damon decided he had enough and stormed out of the house. The sound of the door slamming shut made Elena pull away from Stefan. She knew; she didn't know how, but somehow she knew that Damon had overheard every single word of their conversation. Even though not many words had been spoken, a lot had been said, and Elena was sure that Damon understood everything. It broke her heart to know that he was hurting, but it was for the best. The love she felt now for the elder Salvatore might not be all real and she just had to let him go. She had to fight her urges and instincts to just run into his arms, hold on to him and never let him go.

***DE***

Three hours had passed and Elena was lying in bed, wide awake. She hadn't been able to sleep in days. The memories were too fresh in her mind. She could remember the taste of Damon's lips, the way he'd touched her, the places he'd touched and how it had felt. She had spent only one night with Damon, but that one night had been enough. In his arms, she'd found peace, with herself, with those around her and with everything that had happened to her and those she loved. For the first time since her parents' death, everything had made sense. For the first time in a long while, she had been…happy, she'd belonged. But she had to remind herself that her feelings were not real. It was the fact that his blood had turned her and there was now a sire bond between them; that was the reason she felt so complete when she was with him.

Elena opened her eyes wide and concentrated her supernatural hearing on the light noise she'd picked up a few seconds ago. She stood up and walked towards the window. She checked to make sure it was closed. It was. The weather seemed way too calm to make any noises she wasn't used to. It was Christmas night, but there was no sign of wind or snow.

She allowed nostalgia to pick her up and carry her to a particular event from her childhood. The memory from when she was six and she went for the first time on a trip to the mountains with her parents. It seemed like it happened either to another person or about a lifetime ago. It had been beautiful, with white snow everywhere, and Elena had decided right there and then that 'snow' was going to be on every one of her letters to Santa. Her every Christmas wish since then had been 'snow'. She hoped that maybe one day, Santa would be kind enough to send some snow to Mystic Falls.

She shook her head and took a deep breath to fill her lungs with the smell of pine. She simply adored that particular smell, one sniff was enough to put her in a Christmas spirit. Once they were old enough, their mother would allow Jeremy and Elena to decorate the tree, under her supervision of course. Their dad would make them hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows...

"Penny for your thoughts," Elena opened her eyes wide at the sound of the familiar voice, but didn't dare move. She hoped it was just her imagination playing ticks on her. She could tell she had heard that voice before, but she couldn't put her finger on whom it belonged to yet.

"Elena, can you see me?" the voice asked, and she knew the voice she was hearing belonged to no other than her favourite aunt. "Jenna," she whispered the name softly. The problem was that Elena wasn't sure she actually wanted her aunt to answer. Seeing ghosts wasn't a thing that appealed to Elena too much, not since her hallucination experience. She was pretty sure her aunt was the last person who'd hurt her, but stranger things had happened in Mystic Falls.

Slowly, Elena turned around. Jenna was standing in the middle of the room, her hands in the air like she was trying to catch oversized flies. She seemed rather lost and a bit funny, Elena had to admit.

"Jenna?" Elena repeated the name in disbelief. At that moment Jenna let her hands drop, and looked Elena directly in the eye.

"You can see me?" she asked.

"Yeah, I can see you, but I am still debating whether I should doubt my sanity or not."

"Thank God, Elena. I have been trying to make you see me and hear me since… actually, I don't know. Time is kind of not important here."

"Where is 'here'?"

Jenna made a clacking sound with her lips. "I don't really know, to be honest, but I like it. I am happy here."

"That's good, I suppose," Elena mumbled. She'd lost count of the many times she'd wished her aunt was there to talk to, and now that she was, Elena had trouble finding her words. Her body was still as a stone, and she was scared that if she moved, the woman might disappear. She'd missed her so much.

"Not that I am not happy to see you, but…"

"You want to know why you can see me?" Jenna interrupted.

"Yes."

"I am here to save your love life," Jenna winked, and Elena couldn't help but smile. She was glad that death didn't appear to have changed her aunt all that much.

"You know how to break the sire bond?" Elena asked, assuming that that was what would save her love life. She thought Jenna would tell her how, or maybe even help her break her sire bond to Damon so she would be free to go back to Stefan. There was still a part of Elena that was terrified of letting Damon go, but she knew it had to be done. Wait, did she really want to go back to Stefan? He had been her choice not that long ago, but was he still her choice now?

"I know about your sire bond to Damon. I knew about it before you did. Honestly, the only thing I heard about breaking a sire bond between a vampire and its maker is if the one whose blood turned them dies, but that's not the point – "

"Jenna?" Panic took over Elena as she watched her aunt vanish from before her eyes. It was not fair; she didn't even get to tell her how much she had missed her. She took a seat by the edge of the bed, but jumped right off as her aunt reappeared in the middle of the room.

"Sorry about that, I'm kind of new at this," Jenna said apologetically.

"So, how are you planning to save my damned love life if you are not going to help me break my sire bond to Damon?" Elena asked. She didn't mean to sound impatient, but the truth was that her love life was a mess, and if there was a way out of it, she wanted to find it.

"I am what you'd call 'the ghost of Christmas'," Jenna declared in a grave voice. Elena tilted her head and watched the blonde woman for a few seconds before busting into laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"You? The ghost of Christmas? You don't even like Christmas."

"Now, what gave you that idea?"

"Well, you were always avoiding it."

"Nah, I just had no clue what to buy as a present."

"It's not about what you buy or how much you spend. It's all about giving."

"Whatever. The idea is that I have to take you to revisit your past love, your present love and finally, your future love. Keep in mind that the future can change, Elena," Jenna said and Elena noticed that her aunt was using her serious voice again.

"This is so weird."

"So said the vampire."

"Good point. So, when are we going to go on this supernatural adventure?"

"At midnight," Jenna answered and Elena looked at the big clock on the wall.

"That's in 15 seconds," she pointed out.

"I know. You better grab my hands. This might feel a little weird."

"What do you mean, 'weird'?" Elena was fascinated as she felt her aunt's hands taking her own in a firm grip. Wasn't she a ghost that Elena wasn't supposed to feel? On the other hand, who the hell cared about rules and 'supposed to' anyway? Her aunt was there and Elena could touch her again, which was all that mattered for the time being.

"Just don't let go of me!" Jenna yelled. There were lights and fog around them as well as all sorts of sounds. Elena felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Good thing she didn't actually need it. Her hands became sweaty and slippery. It was hard to keep a tight grip of her aunt's hands.

When they finally stopped, Elena was gasping for air out of sheer force of habit.

"Good thing I am already dead or you would've totally killed me just now."

"Oh, stop being so dramatic. Humans are not allowed here. The past is the land of dead. Only the dead can move between dimensions. Cheer up, we're here." Jenna looked around, making Elena do the same.

They were in the Gilbert living-room. The huge Christmas tree in the right corner of the room caught her attention. Slowly she made her way over to the big tree. Once she was close enough, Elena could tell what year it was. They'd had this silly tradition: every year before Christmas, they would all go to the mall and buy a new ornament for the tree. That year they'd bought a white angel holding a silver star. It was 2008 just a few months before her parents' accident.

"Elena," Jenna tried again, louder this time, and Elena finally turned around to look at her aunt. "I need you to keep in mind a few things before I let this play out. First, you cannot interact with people in this dimension. You do not exist in the here and now; you are nothing but thin air. Second, there is nothing you, or I for that matter, can change, and last but not least, you must pay attention."

"What exactly am I paying attention to?" Elena asked, slightly confused.

"You. You pay attention to yourself, who you used to be, what you felt, what you had and what you lacked."

"I got it."

"Good. So, it's the 3rd day after Christmas in 2008. Do you remember what happened?"

"I threw a party," Elena answered, smiling at the memories.

"And you got caught. Your mom went bananas."

"Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that."

Just as they were talking, a soft noise caught Elena's attention; she advanced a little and looked up just in time to see herself coming down the stairs. She was holding something and talking. Then she realized that she was holding a phone, and immediately remembered who she must be talking to.

"_I'll be there in a second, you don't have to knock,"_ she heard herself yell. Tyler. She was talking to Tyler, who'd come around early to install the sound system with a couple of guys from the football team . She watched herself open the door, and predictably enough, Tyler waltzed inside, followed by four more guys. They started placing different devices and wires all over the living room.

"Hey, watch it!" Elena yelled as Brad walked right through her. Jenna started laughing and Elena opened her eyes wide, letting out a fake annoyed sound. "It's not funny, he passed right though me. We got way too personal," she said, and her aunt seemed to find her complaints hilarious because she wouldn't stop laughing.

"I already told you in this dimension you are nothing but air; what did you expect?"

"Well, a warning would've been nice. Like, 'hey, move out of the way or your old classmates might walk right though you', you know, the basics."

"No time for that, look who's here," Jenna said, pointing at the door.

Elena watched Matt walk in. He looked quite good, she noticed. In his team clothes, his hair was a mess and a big smile was painted on his face. She watched the 2008 version of herself walk towards him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they shared a brief, sweet kiss. She could tell that the passion was missing from a mile away. Matt's kisses had been good and sweet and oh so innocent, especially compared to Damon's…Damon kissed all of her, not just her mouth. When his lips were on hers, she could feel it everywhere in her body. He wasn't just kissing her. It was as if his kiss consumed her, his love enveloping her entire being, raising the art of kissing to another level of pleasure and connection between two people.

She and Matt walked inside hand in hand, advancing towards the kitchen.

"Come," Jenna said, pushing Elena to follow her former self. "Everything you see here is relevant," she went on, and Elena nodded. She got it, it was a comparison between her feelings for Matt, the feelings that she used to have back then and her feelings for Damon…or Stefan, she wasn't sure who her aunt was referring to as her present and future love.

In the kitchen Elena found Caroline and Bonnie, they were both sitting around the table with a fork in their hands, picking at a salad placed in the middle of the table. She and Matt walked in. She opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water, handing it to Matt.

"_Thanks," he said, kissing her and walking out, leaving the girls alone. Elena grabbed herself a fork and joined her friends. _

"_What's wrong?" Bonnie asked_ and Elena smiled sadly. No one knew her better than Bonnie; they had always been best friends, ever since they'd first met when they were just five years old.

"_Nothing's wrong, what are you talking about?" Elena answered, concentrating on the salad and avoiding Bonnie's glance._

"_Elena!" was all Bonnie had to say to get Elena's attention. She chewed slowly before placing the fork on the table and looking at her best friend._

"_I don't know really. I just…I feel like something's missing," she answered, waiting patiently for Bonnie's response. "Don't give me that look, Bonnie. Matt is a great guy, I know that, I just don't know if he is the guy for me. He is just a little…"_

"_Boring," Caroline offered._ Count on Caroline to _not_ sugar-coat it. The truth was that Elena was thinking it, just not saying it. Matt was just too safe, too predictable for her. She needed some adventure, some passion. In short, she needed more than a guy like him could offer a girl like her.

"_Well," she hesitated for a minute, looking at the still open door. "He just agrees with me on everything, no matter how stupid it is. He never contradicts me, even if I'm wrong. He never questions my decisions, even if some of them are really bad."_

"_And that's a bad thing?" Bonnie asked, surprised._

"_Oh, Bonnie, you are so naïve," Caroline said. She flipped her blond curls back, placing her fork on the table just like Elena had a few minutes before. "She wants passion. She wants a challenge. When things get boring and predictable, you can't have a 'happily ever after'." _ Elena agreed with everything her blonde friend had just said. She'd agreed with her then and she still agreed with her now.

"We're done here," Jenna said and before Elena could say anything, her aunt caught her hand and everything around them vanished. Suddenly they were in Elena's bedroom. She and Matt were on the bed.

"_Do you want a dog?" Matt asked and Elena giggled softly._

"_What?"_

"_Well, when we buy a house of our own, do you want a dog or a cat?"_

"_I don't know, Matt. I haven't really thought about it."_

Elena looked at her aunt with surprise. She could feel it; she could feel what she used to feel then: the hope that that was not it. That hope that there was more to life and love that she was supposed to find someone who would take her breath away and change her life.

"Yes, you can feel it. You can feel now what you felt then. It's something that the spirits like to call 'ghost memories'. Don't know why exactly."

"Where to next?" Elena asked as she felt her aunt's hand holding hers again. This time she was ready for the lights and the fog.

"Present."

"Stefan?" she asked and Jenna nodded. This time the trip seemed to have lasted shorter and as soon as the creepy part went away, Elena found herself standing in the middle of the living room at the boarding house. Stefan stood by the liquor cabinet and she was seated in the big arm chair, watching him. Tears were pouring from her eyes and she knew she couldn't have stopped them no matter what.

"_You fed from him, Elena," Stefan almost shouted_ and Elena remembered exactly where that scene came from.

"_It doesn't mean anything," she answered in a shy voice, because she knew she was lying_. She knew how she'd felt when she fed from Damon and she was pretty sure Stefan had a clue about it too.

"_It means something to me. And I am sure it meant something to Damon," he fired back and Elena moaned, trying to hold her sobs under control._ Good, of course it meant something to Damon; she felt it the moment her fangs pierced his skin. It meant something to her as well. _"You went to him, Elena," Stefan said sadly._

"_He understands me," came her answer._ And what a true answer that was. Damon had always been able to understand her, anticipate her moves and keep her in touch with reality. He could see through her in a way that scared her. That was what kept her away from him: the fear of giving herself to him so completely, in a way that she'd never given herself to anyone before. She knew that when Damon was involved, there was no 'half way'; it was all or nothing.

"_And I don't?" Stefan asked_ and before Elena managed to answer, Jenna announced her to hold on for the next stop in the present.

This time they stopped in Stefan's room. Or more like his sort-of-office. Damon was sitting behind the big old-fashioned desk, with a glass of – what Elena guessed was – bourbon in his hand, flipping through the pages of an old notebook. She watched Stefan come into the room as he was drying his hair with a towel. He seemed to be aware of Damon's presence, but not bothered by him, so this must have happened before the sire-bond thing, or their break up.

"_How is she?" Damon asked, taking a sip of his drink. Stefan took a few more steps forward, throwing the white towel on a chair before answering._

"_Angry, full of guilt," he let out a sigh. "She hasn't said a word to me other than she wants to be left alone."_

"_Hm," was Damon's response. _His eyes were still glued to the pages he was reading when Elena and Jenna first arrived in the room. Elena guessed he must have been reading something really important to keep him so concentrated.

"Why are we here?" Elena asked and Jenna smiled sadly. "I don't remember this."

"It's not a memory, Elena. This happened after you killed that vampire hunter. Damon had…well, tortured Stefan until he spilled the beans and told him about Klaus' plan to find a cure and turn you into a human again."

"What does this have to do with me? I know that now. About Klaus' plan and the fact that Stefan knew and even involved Jeremy in it," Elena said, surprised.

"You'll see. Just watch!"

"_Is that my journal?" Stefan asked, taking away Damon's reading material_. Now it made sense to Elena, why the old notebook looked so familiar. It was one of Stefan's journals.

"_I had to go through six locks to get it," Damon said, watching Stefan walk away with the book to put it back in its place. "I needed something to back up your insanity. Have you figured out how to tell Klaus that you lost a hunter and a hybrid?"_

"_He's on a plane, which means I get to live for another six hours," Stefan answered._ He closed the door to the drawer and walked back towards the desk.

"_Oh, I got your back, if he only comes to murder you," Damon said with a smirk_ and Elena couldn't help but smile at the weird way the Salvatore brothers would show their affection and support for each other.

"_Thanks," Stefan answered. "Thanks for not saying anything to Elena," he went on as he poured himself a drink_. Elena jumped at the sound of her name.

"_About what? A cure that we don't have, can't find and probably doesn't exist?" Damon asked. "You're welcome."_ The sarcasm was pretty hard to miss and Elena rolled her eyes at Damon, rejecting his brother's gratitude.

"_She doesn't need to know that she killed her chance of being human again," Stefan explained. Damon mumbled something about an alleged chance, but Stefan said he believed Klaus and his story. _

"_Well, I'll remain sceptic for now," Damon said, getting up from the chair_. Count on Damon to question everyone and everything, Elena thought. _"So what's your next move?"_

_Stefan explained to Damon what Klaus and Rebekah had told him about the Brotherhood of the Five_. Stuff Elena knew all about by now. She still couldn't see how the particular scene in front of her was relevant to her love life.

Damon offered to help Stefan with his mission on finding a cure for her. Of course, he did that in a very…Damon-y way. Damon ended up telling Stefan he had been a pain in the ass for going behind his back and not trusting him enough to share the information. She was with Damon on that one too.

"_Just tell me one thing: why do you want to cure her?" Damon was saying_ and Elena took a step closer.

"_What kind of question is that?"_

"_A legitimate one. You want to cure her cause' she's a vampire and she's not cut out to be, or you can't love her if she is one?" _Elena was holding her breath, waiting for Stefan's answer.

"_I'll always love her," Stefan started softly. "But she's not supposed to be this person; I don't want her to be."_

_Damon nodded subtly. "Well, if I'm gonna ride this fairy-tale to its conclusion, I want to be clear about one thing."_

"_What's that?" Stefan asked and Damon stepped closer to his brother._

"_I'm fine with her either way, brother," Damon answered _and Elena wiped away a tear_. "So if I'm doing this, I'm doing it for you," he took one last sip from his drink and placed the glass on the desk before walking away, leaving Stefan alone in the middle of the room, staring after him._

"I don't think it was necessary for you to show me this. I already knew Stefan didn't like me as a vampire."

"Yeah, that's when you realized," Jenna said waving her hand for Elena to look around. She moved her stare from her aunt and looked straight ahead. Stefan was walking away from the Lockwood mansion and she saw herself following close behind. It was the day of the Pageant and judging by the napkin Elena was holding against her neck, she realized it was just after her brother had stabbed her. Everything was moving faster. She barely made out the words as Stefan told her he had been with Jeremy, making him kill vampires in order to get the cure for her. She remembered telling him that getting her humanity back at the cost of her brother's was not an option. Then it all stopped.

"I though you should see this in a more…detached way," Jenna said. Elena didn't answer, she just waited until she and Stefan started moving again.

"_You don't have to love me like this," _she heard herself say_. "This is who I am now. The old Elena died when she went off that bridge."_

"She did…" Elena said sadly and all of a sudden the scene froze again.

"Elena," Jenna started and Elena turned around to pay attention to her. "You died on that bridge, but you came back, your humanity has not disappeared. A beating heart is not what makes you human. It's about love, compassion, friendship and heartache and you have plenty of that. Yes, you are different, but different doesn't always mean bad. It's going to take a while for you to get used to it, I am not going to lie to you and tell you it will be easy, but you can do it." Elena nodded softly and Jenna made another motion with her hand to make the scene go on before their eyes.

"_Let her go,"_ there was something in her voice – now that she was hearing herself talk. The truth was that she was ready. She had let go of Stefan and she was ready for him to do the same. She watched Stefan's broken expression and it hurt her that she hurt him, but she knew now what she knew then: it had to be done. He looked past her and Elena watched herself turn around. There he was…her friend, her lover, her sin. So beautiful that he took her breath away; so broken that he was breaking her heart. And with so much love in his eyes that it made her feel invincible.

"You ok?" her aunt's voice pulled Elena out of her thoughts.

"Hmm," she cleared her voice. "Yes. Where to next, the future?" she asked.

"Not yet. There is one last thing I wanted to show you. Since I am no longer your guardian, it doesn't seem that bad," Jenna answered and Elena raised an eyebrow at her. Before she had the time to think about it, about why her aunt would feel like the scene that was about to play out for them would make her question her motives, their location had changed once more. They were now in Damon's bedroom. He was in his huge bed, sleeping peacefully. Elena couldn't help but appreciate his beauty. Just him lying there, doing nothing at all was enough to take her breath away. His eyes popped open and he murmured her name. He turned around and found her standing in the doorway of his bathroom. She smiled as he greeted her with a sleepy _"hey"_ and she lost no time to jump in bed beside him with a huge grin on her face.

"_I thought you left," he said softly_.

"_No, I don't have to be at school for…"_ she looked at her wrist – she had no watch on, never had one. _"…at least twenty minutes ago,"_ she finished, smiling as she reached over to kiss Damon. When she pulled back, she watched Damon play with her hair and softly touch her neck and shoulders.

"_What's that face?"_ she heard herself ask.

"_What face?" Damon asked with a smile_.

"God, he looks even more beautiful when he smiles."

Elena didn't realize she'd said the words out loud until her aunt answered. "I suppose," she said and Elena shook her head. She was pretty sure she would have blushed if she wasn't a vampire.

_Damon finally looked away from her neck, watching her with those blue eyes of his that were driving her crazy. "That face," she repeated. _

"_I'm happy," he answered and Elena smiled sweetly at him_. He gently brushed a strand of hair off her face and pulled her closer for a kiss. One kiss melted into another as Elena rolled herself on top of Damon.

"Ok, that…" Jenna started and the scene froze again, leaving Elena with a throbbing sensation between her legs just thinking about what had followed afterwards. "…is way too private." She grabbed Elena's hand and squeezed a little. "I just wanted you to see how happy you were in that moment," she explained.

"I remember," Elena admitted. Of course she remembered. Not a day had passed without her thinking about the way Damon made her feel. Just when she got used to the idea that she might never feel completely happy again, Damon had given her just that. "So, I guess now is the future, right?" she asked,

"Yeah. But first I want to talk to you, just for a while," Jenna said softly as she stepped closer to Elena. "After I show you everything you are supposed to see, I have to go. I have no idea how this thing works any more than you do. I might just disappear all of a sudden, or evaporate or something. Before that happens, I wanted to tell you a few things."

"Ok."

"Hold on tight. I am doing this all on my own," Jenna said and before Elena had the time to questions her aunt's intentions, they were at the Gilbert cabin. "This place always felt like home so I figured you'd be comfortable here."

Elena smiled softly. "If it weren't for you, making Jeremy and me come here again, I don't think I would've had the courage to do it on my own."

"You would have," she paused, looking around. "With time, you would have."

"Maybe, but I still wanted to thank you for doing that for us."

"Elena," her aunt let out a sigh. "I have watched over you. I know what happened, about the decision you can't seem to be able to make," Elena opened her mouth to say something, but Jenna went on before she had the chance. "No matter what, this is your decision."

They talked for a while. Elena told her aunt things she couldn't tell anyone else's. She cried and Jenna held her in her arms. It had been their moment and they both took advantage of it.

"You need to know something," Jenna started, getting Elena's attention again. "After all this is over, you won't remember much of it. It will feel like a dream. You'll remember talking to me and what it was about, but you won't remember many of the details, especially from what you are about to see. The future is not written in stone, and you knowing it now is not permitted since you might interact with it and change it too much."

"I understand," Elena whispered. "We can go now. I am ready."

"I know you think you are, but…"

"But what?"

"You're not going to like what you see. However it is based on the decisions you made and are about to make, so if you change your mind, things will happen differently."

"Ok," Elena said, not fully understanding what her aunt was saying. She got that the future could, and most probably would, change, but how bad could it be? Then it hit her. "Jeremy?"

"It's not him; he'll be fine. He just needs some time and get used to his new circumstances. Bonnie will help him as much as she's going to be able to."

"Come on then. The suspense is killing me."

"Here we go," Jenna said, grabbing Elena's hands once more.

***DE***

"Where are we?" Elena immediately asked, looking around, confusion written all over her face. "We're in the middle of nowhere," she went on, looking at her aunt and expecting an explanation.

"See that cave?" Jenna asked pointing at what Elena thought looked more like a hole in the earth. She nodded, just to let her aunt know that she figured out what she was supposed to look at. "That's where Silas was buried many years ago."

"So we found it?" Elena's voice was so full of hope that it gave Jenna chills down her spine. She knew that ever since Elena knew about her sire bond to Damon as well as her feeling for the elder Salvatore, she'd put all her hopes in that cure. The future certainly held a surprise for Elena.

"Yes. There, outside, you have Caroline. Two of Klaus' hybrids are looking after her, as well as Stefan."

"Oh…" was all Elena found to say.

"You are inside with Damon, Klaus, Professor Shane and Bonnie. She's needed for the spell to retrieve the cure."

Elena watched as the 'cave' started to shake and Stefan and Caroline tried to get inside without much success. It was as if they were not invited in, which was odd since she was pretty sure no one had invited her or Damon in either.

"What's happening?" she asked Jenna.

"I guess you guys underestimated how hard it would be to retrieve that cure. There is another spell. Funny thing, any vampire that might try to take the cure from Silas is meant to share his misfortune."

"You mean –"

"I mean, get swallowed and sealed in the same tomb as Silas."

"Oh, look, we've made it," Elena yelled as she noticed her and Bonnie coming out of the 'cave'. She also noticed she was holding something in her hands. She guessed it was the cure. Her heart started beating faster at the thought of being human again.

"You and Bonnie did. She used a spell to get you out of there and Damon fought to keep Klaus in long enough for the tomb to seal. You see, he knew that if you went back to being human, Klaus would want your blood to create new hybrids. He wanted you to be free."

"But that means he will get sealed in there too!"

"He knew that," Jenna replied sadly.

"No…no, no, no..." Elena kneeled on the ground and her aunt followed her down, wrapping her hands around her shaking body.

"Shh, it will be ok."

"It doesn't feel ok…"

"Stefan's ok," Jenna stated.

"But Damon is not. He's dead because of me," she buried her face in her hands as her soft cry turned into heartbreaking sobs. "He can't be…please, you have to do something."

"Elena, I told you before, there is nothing you or I can do. Also, the future is not written yet. It might change."

"I don't want the cure. If that's the price for it, I don't want it!" Elena yelled. She could feel herself going out of her mind. She couldn't let that happen to Damon. He was not supposed to do that, he wasn't supposed to be the hero. But she knew better. Damon was not the hero they deserved, but the hero they needed. He was whatever they needed him to be; hero, enemy, devil's advocate. She also knew that she would be lost without him.

"Ready for the second part of the last visit?" Jenna asked once she felt that her nice started to calm down.

Elena just nodded slightly, because she didn't trust her voice enough to speak.

A few seconds later they found themselves in the middle of a graveyard. "Is this Mystic Falls cemetery?" Elena asked and Jenna confirmed it. As they got closer, Elena was able to read the inscription on the grave stone. '_Damon Salvatore, beloved brother and friend' S_he felt as if an arrow had pierced her heart as she watched her future self walking slowly towards the morbid stone.

"This is right after Jeremy's death," Jenna said, and Elena looked at her with a frightened look on her face. "No, he died of old age in his late eighties."

"But that means that I am still a…" she stopped for a second, examining her future self. She looked pretty much the same. Except her eyes; there was something different in her eyes. As if she had seen too much. "A vampire," she finished.

"You didn't take the cure."

"I figured, but why?"

"I can't know that, Elena, only you can."

"_Hey, so…Jeremy died last week, but I guess you already knew that."_ Elena turned around at the sound of her own voice. She watched as future Elena placed her hand on the stone and she herself could feel the coldness underneath the palm of her hand. _"I lived and traveled and took care of Jeremy, just like I promised." _

There was something in her own voice that Elena had trouble understanding. It sounded like she was at peace with everything, as if…she was free again after being trapped for a long time. _"God, Damon, I missed you so much all these years," she said with a smile that was at odds with the single tear sliding down her left cheek. "It's time."_

"Time for what?" Elena asked.

"Just watch," Jenna urged.

"_You and I can be together now," she murmured as she took of her daylight ring and slowly placed it on the grave stone_. Instinctively, Elena looked down at her hand. The lapis lazuli ring was still on her finger. _"I am all yours now," she whispered. "Ah, I fooled them, and I fooled myself, but I can't fool you…I was always yours. You could do things to me that no one else could. You could make me laugh, you could calm me down, you made me feel whole and you made me burn."_

It was true; Damon had always had a special effect on her. She didn't realize she was crying until Jenna pulled her into her arms, softy stroking her hair. She couldn't remember for how long they stood there as she cried her eyes out in her aunt's arms.

***DE***

Elena woke up with a gasp. Her heart was beating its way out of her chest and her palms were sweaty. Her whole body was shaking slightly. She looked around, but it took her a few moments to realize that she was in her bed, in her own room. Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself to a sitting position. Her dream had been crazy and she could only remember half of it. Once she cleared her mind, she pushed the covers off and rushed into the bathroom. In ten minutes she was freshly showered and dressed and on her way to the Boarding House.

She did her best to be as quiet as possible as she snuck into Damon's room, closing the door behind her. Stopping in the middle of the room, she took a minute to just admire his beauty. His chest was going up and down at a steady pace, as if he really needed to breathe. Slowly, she made her way towards the bed and slipped in, wrapping her arms around Damon. When she felt him take her in his arms and his body responded to her, Elena allowed herself to breathe. A simple touch from him and her whole body was on fire. Memories from the first time they'd slept together came to mind, giving her an embarrassing tingling sensation between her legs.

Damon opened his eyes slowly, taking his time to take in the image of the flushed girl in his arms. "Elena," he murmured. "What are you doing here?" He started to pull away, but Elena would have none of it. She tightened her grip around his body, keeping him close to her.

"I figured it out," she answered, her doe brown eyes looking at him as if that was supposed to explain everything. "The sire bond, Damon; the sire bond has nothing to do with how I feel about you."

"Elena, what the –"

"Shhh," she pressed her finger against his lips to stop him from talking. "No talking. Sire bond, remember," she explained and Damon understood. She wanted to do it her way, without him and his sire bond interfering with her plan. He nodded subtly, letting her know he understood and Elena smiled in satisfaction before closing the remaining distance between them and pressing her lips to his. Damon pulled back only when he felt her tears wetting his face.

"I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you," she said, and Damon looked at her, trying to reassure her. "Even when I was human, the thought of losing you terrified me," she confessed, and the only thing Damon could do was kiss her. He wanted to kiss her fears away. She moaned his name as his hands slid underneath her shirt. "The way you love me terrifies me, but it excites me at the same time. And you were right, you know," she spoke between kisses, her voice getting hoarse as Damon's tongue started exploring her throat. "I have always wanted passion, adventure and just a little danger."

Taking advantage of her newfound strength, she pushed him onto his back. She was glad he never wore anything to bed. Her hands lost no time and started exploring his arms and chest. "You make me burn," she whispered in his ear and Damon let out a soft moan. "When I'm around you, it consumes me." She stood up enough to take off her shirt and jeans. When she tried to resume her position on top of Damon, he grabbed her hands and pinned her underneath him. Despite being a living dead, his skin was warm and Elena could feel herself losing control. Damon's lips traveled from her ear to her neck and shoulders as his hand slid down the valley of her breasts. He took his time, massaging each one slowly, enjoying every single sound coming from of Elena's throat.

***DE***

For hours on end no words were said between them. They were just two bodies sliding against one another. The only sounds were muffled moans and heavy breathing. There was no need for words; both Damon and Elena let their feelings show through their gestures, caresses and touches. When exhaustion finally found them, Elena drifted off to sleep in Damon's arms with a big smile on her face. He was there with her and that was all that mattered. Together, there was nothing they wouldn't be able to face. The last thing Elena thought about before falling asleep was that it felt like they had just changed history, and she was right.

"_What if it's an ugly country?" Elena asked as she was trying her best to aim the dart blindfolded. _

"_There is no such thing as an 'ugly country'. You just need someone to show you its beauty," Damon said with a smile. "Just throw the arrow, Elena, and no cheating." _

_Elena threw the dart and immediately pulled off her blindfold to see where she'd pinned it. _

"_Portugal, not bad," Damon said, walking towards the big map attached to the wall. "Although, my Portuguese sucks."_

"_When do we leave?" Elena asked, excited._

"_Whenever you want," came Damon's answer. He walked towards Elena and twirled her around, placing a kiss on top of her head as he put her down._

"_After Christmas then. I have a beautiful niece that I am dying to spoil."_

"_We have time to see the wold, Elena. Forever is a very long time."_

"_It's not, but it might be enough for me to express all this love I have for you."_

Damon smiled as he heard Elena giggle in her sleep.

* * *

**N: Hope you guys liked it. Merry Christmas!**


End file.
